24
Distant Memory
Distant Memory
The
freedom of packing
at
a moment’s notice
Unplanned
Easy
as pie
Developing
an idea
step
by step,
Fine
tuning,
Improvising
Click
the “on” button
slide
in the VHS tape
Wind
the cuckoo clock
And
flush the . . . wait . . .
Forgotten
are the days of
remembering
everything in
Some
semblance of order.
**** **** ****
Watching
a loved one search in confusion for a word or a simple thought that has escaped
them quickly turns from impatience, to heart-rending empathy, to acceptance.
However, I do not accept the belief that a person with dementia does not
realize there is a problem with memory.
As
the difficulty with remembering progresses, a feeling of panic creeps in. Slow
awareness of a loss of control morphs into fear of helplessness. This creates
anger. After a lifetime of toiling and struggling to maintain control of who
you are and how you live, it is impossible to sit idly by and watch all that
hard effort drain away.
Like
water seeping through a crack
at
the bottom of a brick well,
forever
lost to the sands of time,
nothing
can stop or even slow
the
progress of memory loss
to
the satisfaction of its owner.
Imagine
realizing that, one day, memories of walks along the riverbank and Sundays in the
park will no longer exist. Familiar and loving faces may slowly melt away,
replaced by “strangers” leaning close to whisper, “Do you know who I am?”
Denial
replaces acknowledgement. “I put it right here. Someone must have moved it.”
Confusion
brings tears. “Why is the dryer running with nothing inside?”
Humor
easies the pain of loss. “Don’t mind me, I have Alzheimer’s.”
Accept that we all reach a moment
when: forgotten are the days of remembering everything in some semblance of
order.
It is sad to watch the memories slip away, as happened with those of my mother-in-law (dementia) and after his cardiac arrest a year and a half ago, also those short term memories have eluded my hubs. He doesn't remember Paris, but he remembers me and other family members. Don't wait to get those memories written down. They do have an expiry date.
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree! Mom went through all the stages of memory loss. She was able to deal with the early stages with a sense of humor. I am sorry for your experiences. Luckily, forgetting Paris is acceptable in the wake of family memories!
ReplyDeleteThis was beautiful. My mother-in-law died in 2012. She reverted back to total babyhood, laying in fetal position for 2 years before she passed.
ReplyDeleteIn the 10 years that she was in the home, her daughter never came to visit. Within seconds of Ella coming into her room and calling 'mom', she passed. Somewhere inside she was still there. She was waiting for her daughter.
Shelly, God does work in mysterious ways. We can only watch and wonder. Thanks for visiting.
ReplyDelete